The Art of Business Etiquette

I've done a variety of jobs since I landed here in China, but one of them sticks out more than others, if only because of my utter lack of credentials for it. One morning, I received a phone call from a company asking if I would like to "give a lecture on business etiquette." I think to myself, had they looked at my resume, they would have seen I have no real business experience. And a lecture—whoa—I'm picturing a large, crowded lecture hall here. Besides, I'm not a huge etiquette person in the first place. After considering these things, I turned my attention to the person on the other end of the line and said, "Sure. Where should we meet?

Having not received much information besides when and where to meet, I was convinced that they were expecting a forty-something person with actual business experience to be delivering a lecture to a large crowd of business people eager. So, I did what any reasonable person would do in the situation: I googled "business etiquette" and read some websites on how to act in “businessey situations.” I tried my best to look the part, too. I put on the nicest, most formal combination of clothes I owned: brown slacks, brown suede shoes, and a wrinkly oxford blue button-down shirt. I regretted the absence of an iron in my apartment, as well as my decision not to pack at least one tie. And, finally, I shaved.

After feeding me some Chinese take-out before the event, the organizers ushered me to the “lecture hall,” which, as it turned out, was just a large classroom. The throngs of people I had imagined previously actually numbered about fifteen and my choice of dress turned out to be quite appropriate—anything more and I would have looked a bit silly. The class went great too. By the end, I realized it was about learning English as much as it was about learning business etiquette. Thus concluded my first and last "lecture on business etiquette."